♫♪♫
Just woke up, it's a brand-new day
So many things that I wanna say
It's been a while since I've felt this way
Everything's ok, nothing feels broken
First day in a brand-new town
What will it be like, will it all go down?
Everyday I'm gonna write this down
Right here in my diary
And all this time, while the world passes us by
What will we leave behind, but the pages of our lives?
And if we take our time, I bet we can all find
The things in life worth living for
One thing I know is that when life's moving slow
I'm not out here on my own, I've got You (to get me through this)
I'm on a long journey through mountains of apathy
And I'm not afraid to walk through
Everywhere I look it's all so different
Another city but it makes no difference
Still going through the same old issues
Everything's ok, nothing feels broken
With the days of the old behind me
Another summer and I feel like climbing
Write another page while the sun's still shining
Right here in my diary ♫♫♫
**********************************************************
This song reminded me of one person who has done a lot in the whole of my personality.
Let's name him, Jayson.
This song by fm static seemed to be the mere opposite of what has happened to him (that is in my opinion).
As of this very moment, his body is in deep slumber while his soul is nowhere to be known.
They say that the soul of a man who committed suicide is forever lost. Some would say that the soul would go to hell because the person himself killed a human being, and that would be himself. Others would say his soul would stay in this world and haunt anyone in his past, whereas some oldies believe that the soul of a man who committed suicide will just simply return to the people where he feels happy.
But are those sayings true? Has anyone come back to life and tell any living creature what's there ahead? Afterlife? You, do you know? DO THEY KNOW? DO I KNOW? DEAD NO! No one in this world knows what's coming or what's gonna happen.
But then, the song is the irony of Jay's life. Yes he went to other town. Yes I know he felt fear in that new place. And yes he felt 'nothing-feels-broken'. As I was listening to next few lines:
...And all this time, while the world passes us by
What will we leave behind, but the pages of our lives?
And if we take our time, I bet we can all find
The things in life worth living for...
He did not do the third line... He did not take his time journeying his life. He ended everything: his miseries, his failures, his sadness... his life...
I don't know what to feel now that the people he left behind, his friends and family, that we, are celebrating his death anniversary.
...One thing I know is that when life's moving slow
I'm not out here on my own, I've got You (to get me through this)
I'm on a long journey through mountains of apathy
And I'm not afraid to walk through...
I don't know why I still feel that annoying regret (though I know I have recovered from the loss). I feel pity to those who committed suicide. What were their thoughts at that very moment that they are about to end their lives? What tempted them? THIS WORLD IS SO UNFAIR. ='(
Bakit may mga taong tulad ni Jay na sobra ang nararamdamang paghihirap at kalungkutan at kinailangan nilang wakasan ang biyaya ng buhay? HINDI KO PARIN MAINTINDIHAN.
Bakit kailangang may magpakamatay? Bakit kailangan nilang sarilinin ang problema? Aminin na natin na sila rin ang may kagagawan at may desisyon non sa mga buhay nila. Pero maling sila ang sisihin.
Nagsisisi ako.
Nanghihinayang ako.
Pero hindi ko naman pwedeng sisihin ang sarili ko sa pagkawala ng kaibigan ko.
I feel helpless. Gusto kong bumalik ang oras para sana may nagawa ako kahit papaano hindi nawala ang buhay ni Jayson. Alam niyo ba yung pakiramdam na wala kang nagawa? Na wala kang naitulong? Nakakainis kasi bestfriend ko yun... TAPOS HANGGANG SA HULI, NAGLIHIM SIYA SA PROBLEMA NIYA.
Gusto kong isipin na ako si Harry at si Jay si Dumbledore.
Na pag mamamatay nako, saka niya lang sasabihin sakin yung mga dahilan kung bakit niya ginawa yun. Alam ko magkikita pa kame, hindi sa panahong ito, hindi
Anu't-anuman, kahit ano pa man ang sabihin ko dito, huli na ang lahat. Wala na. Patay na siya habambuhay. Pero may magagawa pa ako. May magagawa tayo, oo ikaw na nagbasa nito.
Ipagdasal natin ang kabutihan ng kanyang kaluluwa. Iyon nalang ang tanging magagawa ko sa matalik kong kaibigan.
...With the days of the old behind me
Another summer and I feel like climbing
Write another page while the sun's still shining
Right here in my diary ...
I still have pages in my diary. A lot of pages. Yeah, Jay's life is my inspiration. I will not be a hopeless boy who'll take suicide because of life's burden because I still have YOU. You who will help me get through this long journey.
FROM NOW ON, I'LL BE THE BOY WHO MOVES TO A NEW TOWN WITH OPTIMISTIC OUTLOOK.
-Pablo Juan.