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           Last night was the longest night i've ever had. I dunno why but insects (gamo-gamo i think) kept me awake- they kept buzzing and flying around the lights. So we opt to turn off the lights. Then it rained. The rain and the wind were strong. At long last. I can smell the end of summer. Yeah! Indeed, It was the last day of April. One more month to go and I'm out of this house.
          As I lay myself awake, I found a drive to write. I dunno from where did the drive come from. All I know is that I need to write. Thank you rain. You're the only thing in this world that can make me realize things from nowhere.

-Pablo Juan

 
Bakit ganun? Pag kapatid ko yung humihingi ng something sa mga magulang ko, tententenen! Anjan agad... kung may delay man, nakukuha parin niya.
Bakit pag ako? Ilang taon pa bago ko makuha yung hinihingi ko??? Minsan pa nga di ko na talaga nakuha.

You know what's really depressing?
It's when you know your brother will have his great summer and you, stuck in this freakin' house to help in whatever things that needed help.

Let's say I'm jealous. I really am. I know and you know that my family is poor, but not as poor as a rat. So I needed my bones and flesh to dwell in perspiration. I need to help my mom in our business and not just sit here, relax my ass as I type this bad shot I got.

AKO! AKO! LAGI NALANG AKO... laging inuutusan, laging pinapagalitan.
The first time i had a girlfriend, pinagalitan ako. I was 3rd year then.
My brother, he had his first when he's in 2nd year. I'm older. I know. So every eyes are upon me.
Family first. No girls. No love life. I know it's not related but this do always hit me in my cerebrum.

Pag sinagot ko sila ng, "AKO NA NAMAN!!! Hindi ba pwedeng utusan yung isa jan????"
Ito ang laging isasagot ni mama, "NAGBIBILANG KA NA NAMAN NG MGA GAWAIN? Tignan mo nga ako buong araw at gabi akong kumakayod para may pera tayo.. blah blah blah..."


THEY DON'T GET MY POINT!
my point is, kaya antamad tamad ng kapatid ko ay dahil sa ginagawa nila... lagi nilang kinukunsinte ang kapatid ko... lahat ng luho nasakanya...

Three nights past... masaya kong sinabe kay mama na may reunion kame ng HS Friends ko...... so i was trying to ask her if she can give me back MY money... she borrowed ALL of my money just as before the term ends... then and there, nagalit siya. Telling me na wala daw siyang pera... then enrollment ko pa daw.... may utang pa daw siya... blah blah blah... OKEY FINE! Naiintindihan ko! Di niya mabigay pera ko kase wala siyang pera.

yun, kanina... bigla ba naman akong sigawan na wag na daw akong sumama sa reunion for no good reason.... hindi maganda ang gising ko... i was having bad dreams since last week. I have no proper and sound sleep. then, a super BV will give me a headstart... FINE! WAG SUMAMA. IS THAT A PROBLEM? There's always next time...

but, that's not the climax of the story...

It pained me a lot knowing that my brother will a have a trip to Baguio.. huh.... now tell me... what should I feel??????????????????????????????????????????????

Reader... I'm sorry for posting this... you must know by now then that this damn, awful blogsite is my only way to channel my depressions, feeling, hatred in this world....

When I'm in this house, I have nothing but this desktop and keyboard to share my emotions with.

I'm still hoping for a change... T.T






-Pablo Juan
 
tagal ko ring nawala. whew. ang hirap ng walang net sa bahay. 
alam niyo yun??/
hahahahhaahhah...

na-miss ko to...
for sure di niyo na-miss ang ingay ng aking mga kumento.
hahahha...

then again, na-miss ko to...

tulad ng pagka-miss ko sa isang bagay na nagpapabago ng aking gabi't mga araw - ang ulan.

proceed to makata. 
:)
-Pablo Juan. 

    "A little faith can do wonders... A little faith."
    -Bishop Aringarosa, The Da Vinci Code

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    BABALA...

    Sa parteng ito, inaaasahan ko po ang inyong malawak na pang-unawa, bukas na pag-iisip at matatag na paninindigan. 

    Ang parteng ito ay sampu ng aking mga opinyon, tama man o mali, akin pong pinaninindigan. 

    Wala pa man ay humihingi na po ako ng kapatawaran. Matabil ang aking panulat, masakit ang aking salita. Kung masaktan man kita, oo, ikaw na mambabasa, nawa'y patawarin mo ang aking pagsubok na ipakita ang realidad ng buhay.

    ITO ANG REALIDAD NA AKING KINALAKIHAN AT KATATANDAAN.

    Salamat sa pagbabasa, mabuhay ka, oh mambabasa!


    -Pablo Juan

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