Bakit pag ako? Ilang taon pa bago ko makuha yung hinihingi ko??? Minsan pa nga di ko na talaga nakuha.
You know what's really depressing?
It's when you know your brother will have his great summer and you, stuck in this freakin' house to help in whatever things that needed help.
Let's say I'm jealous. I really am. I know and you know that my family is poor, but not as poor as a rat. So I needed my bones and flesh to dwell in perspiration. I need to help my mom in our business and not just sit here, relax my ass as I type this bad shot I got.
AKO! AKO! LAGI NALANG AKO... laging inuutusan, laging pinapagalitan.
The first time i had a girlfriend, pinagalitan ako. I was 3rd year then.
My brother, he had his first when he's in 2nd year. I'm older. I know. So every eyes are upon me.
Family first. No girls. No love life. I know it's not related but this do always hit me in my cerebrum.
Pag sinagot ko sila ng, "AKO NA NAMAN!!! Hindi ba pwedeng utusan yung isa jan????"
Ito ang laging isasagot ni mama, "NAGBIBILANG KA NA NAMAN NG MGA GAWAIN? Tignan mo nga ako buong araw at gabi akong kumakayod para may pera tayo.. blah blah blah..."
THEY DON'T GET MY POINT!
my point is, kaya antamad tamad ng kapatid ko ay dahil sa ginagawa nila... lagi nilang kinukunsinte ang kapatid ko... lahat ng luho nasakanya...
Three nights past... masaya kong sinabe kay mama na may reunion kame ng HS Friends ko...... so i was trying to ask her if she can give me back MY money... she borrowed ALL of my money just as before the term ends... then and there, nagalit siya. Telling me na wala daw siyang pera... then enrollment ko pa daw.... may utang pa daw siya... blah blah blah... OKEY FINE! Naiintindihan ko! Di niya mabigay pera ko kase wala siyang pera.
yun, kanina... bigla ba naman akong sigawan na wag na daw akong sumama sa reunion for no good reason.... hindi maganda ang gising ko... i was having bad dreams since last week. I have no proper and sound sleep. then, a super BV will give me a headstart... FINE! WAG SUMAMA. IS THAT A PROBLEM? There's always next time...
but, that's not the climax of the story...
It pained me a lot knowing that my brother will a have a trip to Baguio.. huh.... now tell me... what should I feel??????????????????????????????????????????????
Reader... I'm sorry for posting this... you must know by now then that this damn, awful blogsite is my only way to channel my depressions, feeling, hatred in this world....
When I'm in this house, I have nothing but this desktop and keyboard to share my emotions with.
I'm still hoping for a change... T.T